Pieces
by Erysimum
Summary: 'They hadn't meant to get lost. But the desert was vast, untamed. It was easy to be lost.' Genma's broken, and Raidou's in pieces. Slash or friendship, depending on how you read it.


_This is a work of derivative fiction. All characters and the world in which they live are the property of Masashi Kishimoto._

**Pieces**

"Where are we?"

Genma's voice was rasping, raw; it sounded like he hadn't spoken in years. Raidou winced.

"Somewhere near Sunagakure." It was the truth, as far as either of them knew, and besides, what else could Raidou say?

They hadn't meant to get lost. But the desert was vast, untamed. It was easy to be lost.

Genma tilted his head for a moment, listening. Raidou could hear nothing but Genma's shallow, rattling breaths, and his own pulse thundering in his ears. "Sandstorm," Genma murmered. His dull eyes still held a glimmer of amusement, as though he recognised the absurdity of their situation.

The mission was only a B-rank. Scroll duty. All they had to do was deliver the documents safely to the Kazekage. It wasn't supposed to take longer than seven days, there and back, and that was accounting for rest stops, not to mention Raidou's poor sense of direction.

No one could have anticipated this.

_- - They were taken by surprise, but Raidou still managed to take out two of the enemy ninja, masked and hooded and black-cloaked, before Genma fell. He's not quite sure now how it happened, only remembers looking down and seeing his partner's crumpled form spread-eagled at the bottom of the ledge, dust and sand rising in clouds around him. It looked like something out of a cartoon and Raidou would have laughed, under other circumstances. He'd expected Genma to pick himself up and brush the dirt off his jacket like he always did. But he just lay there; the stillness was the worst part, somehow - -_

"Yeah." Raidou paused. "Someone'll find us, Genma."

He wasn't sure who he was trying to reassure most, Genma or himself. Either way, he knew his words lacked conviction.

Genma grinned feebly, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth onto Raidou's jacket. "Okay." He didn't believe it any more than Raidou did. That much was obvious.

"Rai..." he slurred.

"Yeah? I'm right here, what is it?"

"You know I...always..."

"I know you do, idiot, you don't need to tell me that now. You can tell me when we get home, when we get back to Konoha."

"...love you."

_- - He had to fight, still, he had to protect the scroll because that was the mission and the mission came first, that was what Genma had always said, wasn't it? "The mission comes first, Rai. Don't worry about me." But Raidou was worried, didn't want to fight, didn't want to protect a stupid fucking piece-of-shit scroll when Genma could be dying, his head screaming at him to run, screw rules, screw the mission, his heart pleading with him to stay, stay with Genma; eventually he stopped trying to think and let his fists do the talking - -_

Genma's eyelids drooped, his hand slack in Raidou's grip.

"Hey, hey, Genma, wake up. You can't go to sleep."

Genma blinked dozily up at Raidou. "'M tired."

"I know. Just, don't go to sleep yet, okay?" Because if Genma fell asleep now he might never wake up. Because Raidou didn't want to be the one to tell him that.

"...Yeah."

"They'll find us soon, don't worry."

"Not...worried."

Raidou felt tears pricking behind his eyes and blinked them away, swallowing back the sobs that were welling up from his chest. He wasn't supposed to be the one breaking down. He had to keep it together, for Genma, and hope that maybe if he kept pretending long enough and hard enough, all the lies he was spouting would come true.

_- - It was supposed to take a week, tops, but they'd been gone over ten days now, Raidou had been counting the sunsets, and they hadn't even made it to Suna. He carried his pack, and Genma's pack, and Genma, until his knees gave out and his face was red raw with sunburn, and then he abandoned the bags. They were walking in circles. The water was all but gone. Genma slipped in and out of consciousness; when he woke he was rarely lucid. And Raidou gave up on being rescued - -_

Genma wouldn't have wanted him to give up. Genma was all for battling through, regardless of the situation, regardless of pain or fatigue or fear. Stupidly determined to the end. It was only now, when neither of them had the energy to argue, that Genma would do what Raidou said. "Just stay still, Gen. They're coming, we just need to stay here." It was the coward's way out and Raidou knew it. Genma had always been the brave one, after all.

Genma stiffened in his arms now, body wracked with harsh, rasping coughs. He was cold, shivering, but sweat glistened on his forehead and his upper lip as he spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor, Raidou's lap.

This was it, then.

Raidou cradled Genma close against his chest, lips to his ear, "It's okay it's okay it's okay," even though they both knew it wasn't okay, it couldn't ever be okay. And he smiled the lie into a promise, just like all the others, even though it was useless. Genma was broken beyond repair.

Genma said, "Talk-" More coughing. More blood. "Talk to me." His face was drawn and pale, but the pain that had etched itself so deeply into the lines of his brow seemed to have been wiped smooth, and he looked up at Raidou with an expression of such calm resignation that the older man felt, almost, his heart breaking, if such a thing was possible.

Raidou wiped the blood from Genma's chin with his sleeve and said, "What about?"

"Anything." Genma smiled crookedly. "You, me...Konoha. Memories. I...want to remember."

"Okay. Memories." This was hard; Raidou had known it would hurt but not like this, never like this. "Konoha. It's summer now, practically summer, right? That's the best time, your favourite season. Konoha's beautiful in summer, isn't it, everything new and colourful and bright-"

_- - a bright light at the end of a tunnel that's what you see when you die angels with halos harps and pearly gates and it doesn't hurt you feel warm inside calm at least that's what they say but Genma's cold and tired and empty - - _

"We used to train in the forest every summer when we were kids, remember that, with Aoba and, and Hayate-"

Hayate was dead, though, wasn't he? Dead and gone. Kicked the bucket, six feet under, pushing up daisies and all the euphemisms in the world couldn't distract Raidou from the awful truth: Hayate was gone, and now Genma was going too. They were all leaving Raidou behind.

"Remember when we used to follow Kakashi? We wanted him to take off his mask but he never did, not even when it was eighty degrees in the shade, I swear he managed to eat wearing the damn thing, too. I don't reckon anyone knows what he's like under there. Probably hideous, right, buck teeth or big lips like a fish or-"

_- - pointy horns and red eyes and fangs though Genma's never believed in the devil only the stories he was told as a child to keep him out of trouble the devil the devil man's gonna get you but he's done bad things anyway he's killed he didn't want to hurt people - -_

"-or something. You always had the best plans, Genma. Ambushes and shit. Never worked, did it, that kid always managed to- slip away, somehow, but I don't think I've ever laughed so much, Hayate was practically c-crying-"

_- - tears streaming down Raidou's face and into Genma's hair uncontrollable now and he's holding him too tightly though Genma doesn't feel how much Raidou's shaking because his eyes have closed he doesn't feel anything not anymore and they say the hearing's always the last to go he wants to die with Raidou's voice in his ears - -_

"Tears of- tears of laughter- no one makes me laugh like you, Genma-"

_- - summer in Konoha dappled sunlight through the leaves everything new and colourful and bright - - _

"Oh god. Genma, come on, listen, you need to wake up. Fuck! Wake up, we need to go home, we need to train in the forest again, right, like when we were kids. We need to see what's under Kakashi's mask."

_- - memories fragments of memories - -_

"No, no, you can't give up, you can't fucking _give up, _that's my job! Fuck- fuck you, _I'm_ the coward, we've got so much still left to do!"

_- - a shattered mirror - - _

"Come on, I thought we were gonna stick it out together-"

_- - that's seven years' bad luck kid - - _

"You told me we'd always stick together, you promised-"

_- - I'm Shiranui Genma I don't need luck - -_

"I can't do this on my own."

There was silence.

Raidou could hear the storm.

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